Busy Place my Mind is

Just posting to let everyone know there is so much running through my mind right now ......I need time to sort it  out before I can do a decent posting.

Our Way

I've been sitting here all morning reading other blogs written by women in relationships similar to ours...but not like ours...the consensus seems to be spanking is a large part of what happens in the relationships...it seems to be what a lot of the couples are using to keep on an even keel. It makes me glad we have a written set of rules that we can and do refer to to handle every situation before it arises. We have come the conclusion that we are "OCD" in that respect, but there are very few surprises we can't handle. Both of us know what to do when and how to say what we say to each other in many instances. To me that builds trust and respect because we don't go outside the lines. It may sound very oppressive  and just reading back over the words here it looks like there isn't any freedom in our relationship; but the boundaries are known. We both have been in previous relationships that became very unpleasant; and have agreed we don't want to or need to experience that again. i know every night by 9 pm  i am supposed to be naked. i know my Master can inspect me at any time. i know i am his by way of gift freely given to him by me; he owns me, he controls me, i am his possession. Don't get me wrong, i am by no means a slave, i have the right to refuse or deny any request he makes, however, i am responsible for doing it the right way and presenting my  reasons for it a certain way.
I have been paddled and punished, but again it is done according to rules we agreed upon and when it is done, my Master hugs me and tells me he loves me. It is very comforting to know that when i come home after work, all i need to do is please Master.

I am His Gift

We have been in a Master/submissive relationship since 2005. At first, Master had no idea of what this was; and as i was coming out of a relationship where i was submissive in an abusive way, i had no idea of what i was really getting into either. But we both agreed that we were tired of being in relationships that were ultimately dishonest in terms of communication, respect, trust and what was expected/gotten/given; initially we got together communicating by phone, email and fax, we found that the idea of Master/submissive intriguing and could be just the ticket that could work for both of us.  We had some rocky and difficult moments and because of an argument and trust issues i had that resulted in me not being completely honest after i said i would; after much prayer and deliberation,  i offered myself as a gift to Him,as his property to do with as He would. Did i mention, by this point i was irrevocably, beyond all reason, head over heels in love with this man, who lived halfway across the country from me? Yes, it is a fact i was and still am.
We finally were able to get together and be together to, among other things, sit down and formally put in place our guide, which we call the ASRT, for Articles of Submissive Rules and Training; a contract, which we both signed (and is probably not binding in a court of law) to show we both entered the relationship freely,  and a Certificate of Ownership in which ownership of me is signed over to Him. Having said all of that; I will post on details at another time.
 Tonight, i am here because i keep getting off track which causes the relationship to feel like a revisit to the old ones we didn't want. My last transgression was a complete disregard to all of the documents i signed which requires me to perform certain tasks at an agreed upon time. As part of my punishment for these transgressions, i was given a number of strokes with our wooden paddle, which left my ass welted, swollen and sore for more than a week, and a written assignment of three pages that i had to list the individual transgressions and then rewrite, that is handwritten, two more times, for a total of nine pages; and then three more pages on which i had to write out why it should not be done again, also which had to be handwritten out two more time, another nine pages.
We are seeking an outlet for me to help me with the solitude i feel being a woman in this kind of relationship, i won't, and don't want to talk to friends or family about what we are doing because it's none of their business and they're not ready for it anyway,but i need to connect with other women who are or have been in Master/submissive relationship and hopefully can give me pointers on staying on track.