I am His Gift

We have been in a Master/submissive relationship since 2005. At first, Master had no idea of what this was; and as i was coming out of a relationship where i was submissive in an abusive way, i had no idea of what i was really getting into either. But we both agreed that we were tired of being in relationships that were ultimately dishonest in terms of communication, respect, trust and what was expected/gotten/given; initially we got together communicating by phone, email and fax, we found that the idea of Master/submissive intriguing and could be just the ticket that could work for both of us.  We had some rocky and difficult moments and because of an argument and trust issues i had that resulted in me not being completely honest after i said i would; after much prayer and deliberation,  i offered myself as a gift to Him,as his property to do with as He would. Did i mention, by this point i was irrevocably, beyond all reason, head over heels in love with this man, who lived halfway across the country from me? Yes, it is a fact i was and still am.
We finally were able to get together and be together to, among other things, sit down and formally put in place our guide, which we call the ASRT, for Articles of Submissive Rules and Training; a contract, which we both signed (and is probably not binding in a court of law) to show we both entered the relationship freely,  and a Certificate of Ownership in which ownership of me is signed over to Him. Having said all of that; I will post on details at another time.
 Tonight, i am here because i keep getting off track which causes the relationship to feel like a revisit to the old ones we didn't want. My last transgression was a complete disregard to all of the documents i signed which requires me to perform certain tasks at an agreed upon time. As part of my punishment for these transgressions, i was given a number of strokes with our wooden paddle, which left my ass welted, swollen and sore for more than a week, and a written assignment of three pages that i had to list the individual transgressions and then rewrite, that is handwritten, two more times, for a total of nine pages; and then three more pages on which i had to write out why it should not be done again, also which had to be handwritten out two more time, another nine pages.
We are seeking an outlet for me to help me with the solitude i feel being a woman in this kind of relationship, i won't, and don't want to talk to friends or family about what we are doing because it's none of their business and they're not ready for it anyway,but i need to connect with other women who are or have been in Master/submissive relationship and hopefully can give me pointers on staying on track.