Boot Camp!!!! Da Ta Da TAH!

We had a very intense weekend. Master had told me earlier in December that we would be doing Domestic Discipline Boot Camp sometime that month. I had vacation time from work that I needed to use and my office Christmas party was on Friday, he lined it up to start on Saturday, December 16. I knew it was coming and sort of what to expect, but I didn't read up on a lot of it because I didn't want to get anxious about it or have someone else's experience to influence or taint my expectations, so I went into it kind of  clueless. Glad I did! While overall it is an exercise that I would wholeheartedly recommend to DD couples; I would not advise it for someone who is really just starting out unless it is understood beyond a shadow of a doubt by both parties what will be happening; if I had known, I don't know if I could have done it.
 I am very glad we did it; it opened up some emotional areas where we were both shut down.

I learned from this experience that I am very committed to what we are doing; we have been through enough failed relationships and this is working because we are committed to it and have found that even though we sort of stumbled into it, apparently we needed it.

This experience was good for both of us.  We learned we have to listen to each other and ourselves and should be precise in our speech. Everything I needed to do every step I needed to go through; I had to ask permission to do. It made me stop and think about everything, every step I take for granted doing mundane things.  I learned that when I am out of order, my disobedience pulls both of us off track because Master has to stop and determine what punishment is to be delivered.

I also learned I am a lot stronger than I thought I was; I decided I would wholeheartedly go through the entire exercise and not wimp out; which I am proud to say I was able to get through all of it.

I feel a lot closer to Master and if possible, I love him more than I did before and want to please him in every way. In spite of or because of this exercise, I know I am loved and cherished. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I belong to Master and he belongs to me.

This experience also has me examining other couples relationships. While I will never know the intimate details of other couples relationships, I am looking at couples I know and couples I see in a different light.

What an absolutely fabulous way to advance our relationship into 2012!!!

I'm Changed

Still wrapping my brain around my Boot Camp experience....learned so much about myself in this relationship and new things about us together.....I'm still weighing and reviewing us....not in a bad way; marveling that we found this without a name for it as an answer to a prayer.....don't tell me my God isn't good and doesn't know His children and what they need....if only they would listen to what He's telling them!

I'm through the other side!!

I have survived this intense punishment that i deserve a smarter submissive!
There is a muscle memory for pain OUCH! that connects (if done right >read< in the right spirit) to that part of my brain to remind me ....whenever I see the paddle.....whenever I touch my ass.....look at it! I will not forget what I did to merit this punishment.....it will not happen AGAIN!

I know there will be other spankings, boardings, punishments, maintenance tallys that will come, but lordy, I hope never like this.  Master could have been very angry, ttwd could have fallen by the wayside, we would still be married (i think) but oh so very vanilla (been there, done that got the t-shirt, don't need to go again)...I know I want this and we need this very much thank you

OH What a Night!!

My Monday presentation was a bit different last week.
Even though I was in the midst of an intense punishment for my transgressions (f--ked up my bank account); my Monday presentation is still expected to be performed as normal.....that is; flawlessly. Which I did as close to perfectly as I have ever done it...considering I don't have all of my props.
Let me explain what my presentation is. Since  Master and I have our own special agreement; I present myself to my Master every Monday night at 8pm. I let him know I am going to the Dungeon to prepare my presentation and go downstairs to the spare bedroom that we use for the Presentation, punishments and our Thursday night meeting. Once there, I light four candles which I place on the floor in a large square that symbolizes the foundation of our relationship. I knock three times on the wall of the stairwell to signal Master all is ready.  I return to the Dungeon to stand in the middle of that space, totally naked, waiting for Master to come down. He must shut off the TV or whatever is on and lock the front doors because there is no disturbing this time that is dedicated to him.
When he comes downstairs, he knocks 3 times to alert me that he is preparing to enter. Once he does,  I welcome him, invite him to relax and enjoy my presentation. When he tells me to proceed, I present three areas of my body (his FAVORITE parts) as his that no other shall ever possess as well as be worthy of having these. When I have presented this body five times, I say my closing lines, thank Master for his time, and tell him I hope the presentation was worth his time. He had me bring a folding chair into my square and told me to have a seat. He smiled and said he critiqued my performance but said he liked what he saw.
Well, I guess Master really enjoyed the presentation because he dropped his pants and signaled for me to crown him with my mouth. Which I happily did, because the idea that my presentation aroused him pleased me! Before I could finish him off, he took off his shirt and took me from behind. BLUSH!  ***KINKY ALERT*** I don't know what prompted him to do it but he poured some of the melted wax from the candles on my back, just above my ass crack.....It didn't hurt or even burn me, it felt more like warm water than hot wax and heighten my impending climax..... before I could get there though Master had me sit back on my chair in the square and told me to open my legs wide and masturbate. I started slow like I usually do, but he urged me to stroke myself faster and "get that clit hard!"  "put your fingers inside and find that spot!" I promptly did so, looking at him from his face to his enormous hard-on, which he had begun to stroke. Between watching the gleam in his eyes, seeing him masturbate and him urging me to higher heights, I couldn't hold out any longer and moaning, groaning and growling (yes growling) my orgasm burst forth, squirting out through my fingers, onto the chair and the floor . Master smiled a wicked evil grin and told me to stand up and come to him. He put his fingers inside me as if to test the wetness and had me taste his fingers. He said "This is me and you and that is all you will ever taste" 
I was ever so weak and thought "This was a very different ending to my presentation this time". I thought he was going to pick up his clothes to go back upstairs......but noooooo, he had me bend over my chair and put his fingers back inside me. OH MY GORSH!!!! I thought I was going to start howling or purring either one, it felt so goooood! I had nothing left and still he pushed his fingers inside me in a quest for that continuing orgasm......I squirmed away panting.....finally he took his fingers out.....I thought half my insides was going to follow...
What a fabulous presentation!!! &  I have the rug burns on my elbows to prove it

The Ripples of Procrastination III

When Master paddled me for the first part of this punishment, spring clothespins were clipped to my labia, my clit and my nipples....can we say red hot pain??!  and a picture was taken (not for sharing) that has found it's way to the desktop of my laptop so every time I sign on it is the first thing I see and I have received it as text picture on my cell phone twice. To remind me, in Master's words, of my "piss poor judgement".
Does he not know how anguished I am about this whole episode? How achingly disappointed and angry I am with myself? That I am frustrated beyond words about this? That if I could turn back the hands of time, I would not have ordered one blessed thing or if I had sent it back before time was up?
I know he knows I have been searching for a part-time job to try to get to a position to alleviate this situation. I would sell my organs or blood if I could.

The Ripples of Procrastination II

So I am still being punished for my transgressions of not following the rules. Yesterday was my birthday and we weren't able to go out as we usually do because we have no cushion of discretionary funds.
This whole situation is depressing me and Master is not a happy camper either. Another aspect of my punishment is that I had to give Master my checkbook, register, debit and ATM cards; not that there is any money to spend anyway. I am well aware what stress this is putting on our relationship because everything is so tight it squeaks. I know we will get through this, but oh my gosh, can this stress, this bump in our relationship be over already?!
When I come home from work tomorrow and everyday this week, I am to strip naked, go down to our dungeon, insert my butt plug and prepare to be boarded. Master will come down at his convenience and administer my punishment. I accept that I made mistakes and transgressed from our rules. I accept the responsibility of my transgressions, and accept the punishment. I WILL NOT  make this mistake again ever, in this life or any other.
Master says that I  must work to achieve submissive perfection, this lesson is paramount in my journey toward perfection.

The Ripples of Procrastination 1

A few months ago, much to my dismay, I broke a couple of major rules at once: spent money unwisely on something I didn't need & didn't check my bank account like I was supposed to. As a result, there was a recurring charge on the account we couldn't afford. I cancelled the account , but was still charged for the merchandise, even while I was waiting for the code to send the items back.  Anyway, I got overdraft fees, punished and a severe boarding (paddling) for these transgressions. Master was very angry and sent me away for a day. The next assignment was writing out all of my transgressions; I had been off track of being actively submissive for several months. I also had to write out how my transgressions affects our relationship and why it should not be done again.
I am still under punishment for breaking this rule. Under regular paddling, a specific number is given and I must thank my Master for each lick and enumerate it. Under this punishment, I am receiving as many licks as Master desires, no counting and I must wear a butt plug while it is being administered.