I'm through the other side!!

I have survived this intense punishment that i deserve a smarter submissive!
There is a muscle memory for pain OUCH! that connects (if done right >read< in the right spirit) to that part of my brain to remind me ....whenever I see the paddle.....whenever I touch my ass.....look at it! I will not forget what I did to merit this punishment.....it will not happen AGAIN!

I know there will be other spankings, boardings, punishments, maintenance tallys that will come, but lordy, I hope never like this.  Master could have been very angry, ttwd could have fallen by the wayside, we would still be married (i think) but oh so very vanilla (been there, done that got the t-shirt, don't need to go again)...I know I want this and we need this very much thank you

OH What a Night!!

My Monday presentation was a bit different last week.
Even though I was in the midst of an intense punishment for my transgressions (f--ked up my bank account); my Monday presentation is still expected to be performed as normal.....that is; flawlessly. Which I did as close to perfectly as I have ever done it...considering I don't have all of my props.
Let me explain what my presentation is. Since  Master and I have our own special agreement; I present myself to my Master every Monday night at 8pm. I let him know I am going to the Dungeon to prepare my presentation and go downstairs to the spare bedroom that we use for the Presentation, punishments and our Thursday night meeting. Once there, I light four candles which I place on the floor in a large square that symbolizes the foundation of our relationship. I knock three times on the wall of the stairwell to signal Master all is ready.  I return to the Dungeon to stand in the middle of that space, totally naked, waiting for Master to come down. He must shut off the TV or whatever is on and lock the front doors because there is no disturbing this time that is dedicated to him.
When he comes downstairs, he knocks 3 times to alert me that he is preparing to enter. Once he does,  I welcome him, invite him to relax and enjoy my presentation. When he tells me to proceed, I present three areas of my body (his FAVORITE parts) as his that no other shall ever possess as well as be worthy of having these. When I have presented this body five times, I say my closing lines, thank Master for his time, and tell him I hope the presentation was worth his time. He had me bring a folding chair into my square and told me to have a seat. He smiled and said he critiqued my performance but said he liked what he saw.
Well, I guess Master really enjoyed the presentation because he dropped his pants and signaled for me to crown him with my mouth. Which I happily did, because the idea that my presentation aroused him pleased me! Before I could finish him off, he took off his shirt and took me from behind. BLUSH!  ***KINKY ALERT*** I don't know what prompted him to do it but he poured some of the melted wax from the candles on my back, just above my ass crack.....It didn't hurt or even burn me, it felt more like warm water than hot wax and heighten my impending climax..... before I could get there though Master had me sit back on my chair in the square and told me to open my legs wide and masturbate. I started slow like I usually do, but he urged me to stroke myself faster and "get that clit hard!"  "put your fingers inside and find that spot!" I promptly did so, looking at him from his face to his enormous hard-on, which he had begun to stroke. Between watching the gleam in his eyes, seeing him masturbate and him urging me to higher heights, I couldn't hold out any longer and moaning, groaning and growling (yes growling) my orgasm burst forth, squirting out through my fingers, onto the chair and the floor . Master smiled a wicked evil grin and told me to stand up and come to him. He put his fingers inside me as if to test the wetness and had me taste his fingers. He said "This is me and you and that is all you will ever taste" 
I was ever so weak and thought "This was a very different ending to my presentation this time". I thought he was going to pick up his clothes to go back upstairs......but noooooo, he had me bend over my chair and put his fingers back inside me. OH MY GORSH!!!! I thought I was going to start howling or purring either one, it felt so goooood! I had nothing left and still he pushed his fingers inside me in a quest for that continuing orgasm......I squirmed away panting.....finally he took his fingers out.....I thought half my insides was going to follow...
What a fabulous presentation!!! &  I have the rug burns on my elbows to prove it

The Ripples of Procrastination III

When Master paddled me for the first part of this punishment, spring clothespins were clipped to my labia, my clit and my nipples....can we say red hot pain??!  and a picture was taken (not for sharing) that has found it's way to the desktop of my laptop so every time I sign on it is the first thing I see and I have received it as text picture on my cell phone twice. To remind me, in Master's words, of my "piss poor judgement".
Does he not know how anguished I am about this whole episode? How achingly disappointed and angry I am with myself? That I am frustrated beyond words about this? That if I could turn back the hands of time, I would not have ordered one blessed thing or if I had sent it back before time was up?
I know he knows I have been searching for a part-time job to try to get to a position to alleviate this situation. I would sell my organs or blood if I could.

The Ripples of Procrastination II

So I am still being punished for my transgressions of not following the rules. Yesterday was my birthday and we weren't able to go out as we usually do because we have no cushion of discretionary funds.
This whole situation is depressing me and Master is not a happy camper either. Another aspect of my punishment is that I had to give Master my checkbook, register, debit and ATM cards; not that there is any money to spend anyway. I am well aware what stress this is putting on our relationship because everything is so tight it squeaks. I know we will get through this, but oh my gosh, can this stress, this bump in our relationship be over already?!
When I come home from work tomorrow and everyday this week, I am to strip naked, go down to our dungeon, insert my butt plug and prepare to be boarded. Master will come down at his convenience and administer my punishment. I accept that I made mistakes and transgressed from our rules. I accept the responsibility of my transgressions, and accept the punishment. I WILL NOT  make this mistake again ever, in this life or any other.
Master says that I  must work to achieve submissive perfection, this lesson is paramount in my journey toward perfection.

The Ripples of Procrastination 1

A few months ago, much to my dismay, I broke a couple of major rules at once: spent money unwisely on something I didn't need & didn't check my bank account like I was supposed to. As a result, there was a recurring charge on the account we couldn't afford. I cancelled the account , but was still charged for the merchandise, even while I was waiting for the code to send the items back.  Anyway, I got overdraft fees, punished and a severe boarding (paddling) for these transgressions. Master was very angry and sent me away for a day. The next assignment was writing out all of my transgressions; I had been off track of being actively submissive for several months. I also had to write out how my transgressions affects our relationship and why it should not be done again.
I am still under punishment for breaking this rule. Under regular paddling, a specific number is given and I must thank my Master for each lick and enumerate it. Under this punishment, I am receiving as many licks as Master desires, no counting and I must wear a butt plug while it is being administered.

Master says I am more valuable than GOLD

There is a new standard in our relationship that is higher than gold.  It starts with my mouth, with which I give my Master blow jobs of the highest caliber. There is no one else worthy to have my mouth on their dick! Next is how I carry myself. Everywhere I go people want to know who I  am, so I tell them I  am the MIGHTY MISS! not really, but since we have been actively practicing M/s, I get such looks.....people are wondering what has happened. Because I know I am so valuable to my Master, I hold my head up and when I'm out the house people want to know what I think or how to handle a situation. I am given things all the time, not because I appear needy, but because people want to curry favor and have some of this gold rub off on them....but I'm not telling, let's see if they can guess.....I know they won't.  It's known I know things, but not even my best friend has figured out what has made me change....Maybe I'll tell her someday.....

How did I get HERE?

The question has been asked how did I get to this place where I am accepting of this alternative lifestyle we call Master submissive? I think in many ways I have always been submissive. Middle daughter of five children; parents 50's style African Americans from the south; self esteem issues - too dark, too skinny, wears glasses, hair too kinky; I think I was set up for it.
My parents believed in corporal punishment so I got a lot of lessons beat into me at the end of a leather belt, but I don't see myself or my sibs as being abused. Rules and expectations were always laid out clearly and when lines were crossed, out came the strap and licks were doled out across our open palms.
Guess that's where I got the idea in the back of my mind about being submissive.
First marriage to a jack-leg preacher, who told too many lies that I knew the truth of and who I allowed to emotionally abuse me.
Got out of that and realized there had to be a relationship where there was trust and where I could be really loved & cherished. That's where my Master came in. Apparently, he'd been experiencing the same sort of relationship disappointments and when we got together, things just seemed to flow that way.
After a few stutter steps since we got together(he was halfway across the country) I have finally,come to the conclusion  I  want to be with him, so I accepted that it has to be this way for the whole relationship to work

Busy Place my Mind is

Just posting to let everyone know there is so much running through my mind right now ......I need time to sort it  out before I can do a decent posting.

Our Way

I've been sitting here all morning reading other blogs written by women in relationships similar to ours...but not like ours...the consensus seems to be spanking is a large part of what happens in the relationships...it seems to be what a lot of the couples are using to keep on an even keel. It makes me glad we have a written set of rules that we can and do refer to to handle every situation before it arises. We have come the conclusion that we are "OCD" in that respect, but there are very few surprises we can't handle. Both of us know what to do when and how to say what we say to each other in many instances. To me that builds trust and respect because we don't go outside the lines. It may sound very oppressive  and just reading back over the words here it looks like there isn't any freedom in our relationship; but the boundaries are known. We both have been in previous relationships that became very unpleasant; and have agreed we don't want to or need to experience that again. i know every night by 9 pm  i am supposed to be naked. i know my Master can inspect me at any time. i know i am his by way of gift freely given to him by me; he owns me, he controls me, i am his possession. Don't get me wrong, i am by no means a slave, i have the right to refuse or deny any request he makes, however, i am responsible for doing it the right way and presenting my  reasons for it a certain way.
I have been paddled and punished, but again it is done according to rules we agreed upon and when it is done, my Master hugs me and tells me he loves me. It is very comforting to know that when i come home after work, all i need to do is please Master.

I am His Gift

We have been in a Master/submissive relationship since 2005. At first, Master had no idea of what this was; and as i was coming out of a relationship where i was submissive in an abusive way, i had no idea of what i was really getting into either. But we both agreed that we were tired of being in relationships that were ultimately dishonest in terms of communication, respect, trust and what was expected/gotten/given; initially we got together communicating by phone, email and fax, we found that the idea of Master/submissive intriguing and could be just the ticket that could work for both of us.  We had some rocky and difficult moments and because of an argument and trust issues i had that resulted in me not being completely honest after i said i would; after much prayer and deliberation,  i offered myself as a gift to Him,as his property to do with as He would. Did i mention, by this point i was irrevocably, beyond all reason, head over heels in love with this man, who lived halfway across the country from me? Yes, it is a fact i was and still am.
We finally were able to get together and be together to, among other things, sit down and formally put in place our guide, which we call the ASRT, for Articles of Submissive Rules and Training; a contract, which we both signed (and is probably not binding in a court of law) to show we both entered the relationship freely,  and a Certificate of Ownership in which ownership of me is signed over to Him. Having said all of that; I will post on details at another time.
 Tonight, i am here because i keep getting off track which causes the relationship to feel like a revisit to the old ones we didn't want. My last transgression was a complete disregard to all of the documents i signed which requires me to perform certain tasks at an agreed upon time. As part of my punishment for these transgressions, i was given a number of strokes with our wooden paddle, which left my ass welted, swollen and sore for more than a week, and a written assignment of three pages that i had to list the individual transgressions and then rewrite, that is handwritten, two more times, for a total of nine pages; and then three more pages on which i had to write out why it should not be done again, also which had to be handwritten out two more time, another nine pages.
We are seeking an outlet for me to help me with the solitude i feel being a woman in this kind of relationship, i won't, and don't want to talk to friends or family about what we are doing because it's none of their business and they're not ready for it anyway,but i need to connect with other women who are or have been in Master/submissive relationship and hopefully can give me pointers on staying on track.